Imma Workin’ On It
What I’m working on.
I’m working on being hopeful. I’ve subscribed to 2 very popular, yet untrue philosophies.
One: Positivity in every situation is an answer to your problems.
Two: Being Christian is an insurance policy against bad things happening.
I wish I could say that I have cancelled both subscriptions, and I have. But then I get the postcard in the mail for a free issue and forget to cancel.
About two years ago, I started the practice of seeing a spiritual director each month.
When I share about the pain and ache of a situation(s), she reminds me that God is always good and He will bring good from this, in His way and in His time. She reminds me that He is with me, right now amid this and He has not abandoned me or forgotten me. She reminds me that Satan has me exactly where he wants me. (Welp. I used the word. More on that later).
She asks me about when God has been faithful in my life and kept good on his promises to me personally.
Being held accountable to answer that question has proven to change the course of my attitude, but also my faith and hope.
The power that truth has in these situations is incredible.
Life took a turn lately and things are difficult. It is not a story that just involves me, and I don’t feel like I can broadcast it here. But both myself and my husband noticed that I have been incredibly, incredibly angry.
When I took the time to investigate why, I realized I had not given myself permission to feel the deep disappointment and sadness. Instead, I acted as though I was a ray of sunshine and reminded myself constantly to focus on the positive and that it will all work out. All this masking and pretending gave way to red hot anger.
So lately, I’ve been sitting with my true feelings (like actually sitting and paying attention to how I feel) Next, I remind myself that God sees me and knows exactly where I am at.
Lastly, I remind myself that I don’t know if it will work out the way I want, but it will be okay, and God will bring good from it.
So, dear reader, how are you feeling? I mean like, really feeling?
Until next time,
Jennifer
Connection
In Elementary school or maybe it was junior high, (I don’t remember. We didn’t call it middle school in my day) I loved when analogy worksheets made it into the teacher’s lesson plan book and onto my desk.
Do you remember those?
Hand is to arm, as _____ is to leg.
As you got older, they started to look like this:
Feather: bird: fur: dog
Kitten: Cat: puppy: dog
(This is riveting and intriguing content. I know.)
In all sincerity, this is a look into my brain. I honestly loved completing analogies and during my home-schooling days loved to teach them. They are a quick task. They produce immediate results.
You can lead me anywhere with small tasks. And you should know that my brother Hansel, calls me Gretel.
I like to tie things together. I like to find connection. I like to find the lesson.
Here’s looking at you, Aesop’s Fables.
A year ago, my shoulder started bothering me. And in May it really started to hurt, and I stopped having anywhere near a full range of movement.
I tried all at home remedies to no avail and in July finally went to see an orthopedic doctor.
He gave an immediate diagnosis and prescribed steroids and as well as physical therapy.
When he explained what was happening, he shared that more than likely I had injured my shoulder at some point, and it became inflamed. He said, “your body read the textbook on what to do, but now the response has become inappropriate.”
The inflammation has gone on so long, that it is causing great pain and started restricting my range of motion. The inflammation was initially necessary to protect the injured area but now it needed to be retrained. I needed to reteach my shoulder how to respond.
I listened to everything and found it very interesting. He asked if I had any questions, and in my head, I silently asked the question: Did you really use the word inappropriate?
I made my physical therapy appointment. He agreed with the diagnosis and used the words retrain.
He shared that we have been conditioned that pain means bad and we should stop and in most cases that is exactly the case. But in our therapy for your shoulder, it is not true. We will need to stretch into that pain to increase your range of motion.
Physical injury leads to inflammation. This is a healthy response to protect the injured area. But in some cases, it becomes too much and restricts our movement. To heal, we must literally move and stretch into the pain to restore our body to a healthy state.
Emotional injury can lead to pain. This is a healthy response and can often lead to protection and setting up boundaries. Or self-reflection and growth. But sometimes the response to emotional injury becomes too much and it restricts us. To heal, we must move and stretch into the pain to restore our heart and soul to a healthy state.
It takes work and often requires we embark the help of a professional. Or maybe a mentor. But healing and restoration is an active process, not a passive one.
If there is an emotional wound that Is inflamed and restricting you from living life, loving other people and being yourself, you are worth the journey toward restoration.
Take the first step.
Be you, bravely.
Until next time,
Jennifer
Taking a Second Look
Dec 30
Emily P. Freeman says that self-reflection can help us to make better decisions. While I agree, I also have a hard time with this. When looking back, top of mind tends to spotlight the things I’d rather not relive.
The hard stuff, the embarrassing moments and the failures.
On the other hand, when I reflect on what worked and what went well, I want them to be big things. I want those moments, actions or choices to be those that were notable, and on a grand scale.
I prefer them to be Life changing. Note-worthy (preferable by someone other than me) or Provide profound insight.
When I taught fifth grade, I attended a writing conference. One of the presenters, who was also an author, shared her love of poetry. She talked of the need to teach poetry as a form of self-expression and tips for teaching poetry writing to elementary students.
One of the things she said that has stuck with me all these years is that poetry hides in the cracks. We look for it the big life events, but it is found in the little things.
I’d like to think it’s because this is where most of life hides. Life hides in the cracks of the ordinary day to day events, schedules and conversations.
Taking a different posture and looking back through a less critical lens has helped when I take the time to look back at the past year.
As you look back over 2022 and reflect on what worked and what didn’t work, look in the cracks of your life. There is a lot hiding in there that deserves a second look.
Until next time,
Jennifer
Relearning & Rethinking
I have had a problem with the words humble or humility. I have hated those words and any derivative of them.
Like. I really hated them.
I am discovering that for some time I may have held tight to a misunderstanding of its meaning and one that I found to be oppressive, false and unattractive.
Recently, I was listening to Daniel Bean’s podcast on the virtue of humility. Her podcast covers a wide variety of topics, but each month she picks one virtue to delve deeper into and grow in.
She defined humility in a way that I had never heard. She defined humility as knowing yourself. And listen. That hit a little different. It deeply resonated with me. I found her definition a breath of fresh air and one that I was curious about.
Let’s take a quick peek into the evolution of my definition of humility:
Where it started –
Definition:
Humility: Keeping a spotlight on one’s faults, failures and weaknesses to keep one’s pride in check.
Belief:
Truly humble people: Often boast about the various virtuous activities they partake in.
Where its headed:
Definition:
Humility: Knowing your strengths, gifts and talents along with your weaknesses and faults.
Belief:
Truly humble people: Are often genuine, confident and honest
Dear reader, I have only dipped my toes into this new idea of humility. While it is easy to find pride unattractive it has been very difficult for me to find humility attractive. It seems, though, that I have associated it with poor examples, ideas and an incorrect definition.
On paper, it seems there may be some immense benefits. I am hoping to delve deeper into exploring it. Would you like to join me?
Until next time,
Jennifer
A few questions for reflection:
What is my definition of humility?
Do I see virtue as something to be practiced?
What virtues in others do I find attractive? Why?
What is my strongest virtue? Weakest?
Five Favorites
May 23
Often a topic for a Friday. But I thought I’d try something different and shoot for a Wednesday. That’s not true at all. I just aimed for Friday and missed and here we are on a Wednesday!
Carry on, shall we?
Prefer: to choose or like better than another
Preference: a greater liking for one alternative over another.
Years ago, Hallie Lord had a weekly post that I loved. I believe it was called Five Favorites and that it was usually in the middle of the week. There were no rules – just favorites. Favorite foods, recipe, things to do, moments, beauty products and the list goes on. On her Favorite things blog, Laura Tremaine, said that she enjoyed these types of blogs and posts because they were another way to learn a little bit about others. While I do love a dose of retail therapy, I enjoy a unique look and learning about others that I follow as well.
Five Favorites: What I Hope to make a Wednesday tradition.
1. I love something unexpected in a home. I love them for a lot of different reasons. Here are a few.
Bookshelves on the kitchen counter @maddoxinthemiddle
2. Brown sugar cream cheese fruit dip. This was a recent rediscovery when a coworker mentioned it. Delicious. We’ve only had it with apples, but I do think pretzels or graham cracker sticks? (Is that what they are called? Bites?) would be very good, too.
3. Date nights on a Tuesday. Or a Wednesday. These are arguably ordinary days of the week. Having something to look forward to like a dinner out, or a movie in the middle of the week is pretty great. It is also a perfect time to try out a new restaurant that usually has long wait times on a weekend.
4. Onesies for puppies after surgery. This is our petite pup after surgery last week. The vet assured us that female dogs rarely bother wounds. I agree. But Mabel here is not one for following the mold.
5. Eye brightener pencils from Thrive. I try different products now and again. But I lose interest fairly quickly. I am not committed enough to do doing something every day, so I don’t often find myself ordering the same thing twice. Except this. I love this product. It is so easy to use and I really like the way it brightens my tired eyes with very little effort.
I hope you enjoy!
Until next time,
Jennifer